


she’s got a boyfriend anyway

by sunflivower



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Dancing, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Izzie no last name, renew atypical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22203814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflivower/pseuds/sunflivower
Summary: Izzie had always known she liked girls.[Cazzie]
Relationships: Casey Gardner/Izzie
Comments: 2
Kudos: 203





	she’s got a boyfriend anyway

**Author's Note:**

> lightly inspired by the song sex by the 1975.

Izzie had always known she liked girls.

Or at least, appreciated them in ways other girls didn’t. Why was it, at the age of 12, she pined over Bella in Twilight more than Edward? Maybe he just wasn’t her type.

Why was it, at the age of 14, she’d catch herself looking at that pretty brunette with the long legs and green eyes at the mall, not the indie boy serving them coffee at Starbucks? Maybe he just wasn’t her type either.

At the age of 15, she’d wonder why she’d get so embarrassed and defensive when she had to justify not having a boyfriend when all of her friends were dating. Maybe she just wasn’t ready yet? Boys were stupid anyway. She didn’t need them.

Then Nate came along, and she entertained him for a while, just to convince herself she could feel something, anything, for someone of the opposite sex. That first time he leaned in and kissed her, she knew it wasn’t right. It shouldn’t feel like this. Yes, being nervous was to be expected, but this wasn’t the butterflies you read about in the books or see in the movies. The dread was there like a dead, unmoving weight on her chest, pressing down, down, down.

When he took her home that night, she knew why she felt the way she did. It wasn’t just Nate. She just didn’t like boys at all. She thought about what that meant for her and who she was. She thought about how her friends would react, how her mom would react, how her latest deadbeat homophobic boyfriend would react. Maybe it would be safer for her and her family if she kept up the act with Nate.

She was doing a pretty good job until Casey walked into her life.

Izzie and her teammates stalked her on social media before she arrived at Clayton. Shit. She was just her type. Staring intently at the picture on the screen of her wrapped around a blonde boy, she knew she’d have to keep her defences up.

Protect yourself, Izzie. Don’t get hurt. Don’t let them know.

Her mean girl act didn’t last long. All it took was a bottle of vodka and an hour in Coach’s office and she was suddenly friends with her, sharing secrets and laughing as though they had known each other their whole lives. It felt normal. It felt right.

No matter how much was thrown at them, they always ended up back in each other’s lives. Izzie thought they were like magnets, no matter how much she tried to push her away Casey always ended up back on her side. She didn’t really care about the whole kissing incident with Nate, she knew that he was a liar. It was scaring her how close she was becoming to her, and how much she wished that they could be more than friends. Maybe it would just be easier to pretend to believe him over her, and this would be the excuse she needed to cut ties and try to move on with her life.

But she couldn’t do it, she just couldn’t let her walk away from her life. It shocked Izzie how easily Casey forgave her. Damn, she had to give it to her, she was loyal. She even had the tiniest glimmer of hope that Casey felt the same way when their foreheads pressed together in promise. God, she was beautiful. She was thankful when Elsa interrupted them. Keep your guard up Izzie!

Like any of it mattered when Casey was still with Evan. Afterwards, Casey ran to kiss him. Izzie wasn’t convinced. She always thought there was something strange about their relationship like she was never really that into him. She treated him more like a brother than a boyfriend. Regardless, in spite of her feelings, she’d never do anything to hurt Casey or reveal her own true feelings.

There had been a pride parade in town a few weeks back, and her mom’s boyfriend jeered at the television coverage and remarked that watching it made him sick.

Her mom laughed.

Izzie cried herself to sleep every night for the rest of the week.

It didn’t help that she couldn’t deny her love for Casey to herself any longer. She thought about her every minute of every day, her laugh, her smile, the look of joy she had on her face whenever she won a race. Her eyes, the way she called her ‘Iz,’ how she smelt of candyfloss. She thought about her soft skin and the trail of freckles she had down her back that Izzie noticed and thought about for days when Casey’s top trailed up when they shared a bed during one of their sleepovers. Izzie woke up in the middle of the night and imagined how happy she would feel if their bodies were intertwined.

A few days after the sleepover, Casey came bounding up to Izzie at school and asked her if she’d go with her to see one of her favourite bands next month. She already had the tickets and Izzie wouldn’t have to pay, Casey’s treat. She agreed without even thinking twice.

Casey picked Izzie up on the night of the gig. Izzie bit her lip and swore under her breath when she saw her walk up to her path. That girl got hotter every time she saw her. She’d spent hours picking out an outfit to impress her yet Casey looked that good in her long black dungarees?

Izzie could only hope that her lacy white top and jean shorts would get her attention.

She hid a smug smile when she caught Casey looking a little too intently at her when they stopped at the traffic lights.

Izzie didn’t really listen to the band they were going to see, but she was excited seeing just how excited Casey was. Cramped next to each other on the floor of the venue, Casey was beaming waiting for them to play, listing all of the songs she hoped they’d sing and which ones she thought Izzie would like. Should she get a t-shirt at the end or what about another vinyl for her collection? Izzie thought it was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

When they began to play, Izzie lost herself in the music. Maybe she could get into these types of songs after all. She felt Casey press up against her during one of the slow songs, and suddenly every breath was taken from her. They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, Casey’s arms wrapped around her waist and her head placed gently on her shoulder as they swayed to the beat of the music.

Then the band roared into an upbeat song and Izzie grinned as Casey span her around and they began to dance. Before she even knew what was going on, Casey was impossibly close to her, her nose brushing her forehead. Fuelled by sheer liquid courage she leaned into Casey and snaked her hands around her, letting the music drown her senses.

_She’s got a boyfriend anyway…_

Izzie suddenly began to feel very aware of the situation.

_She’s got a boyfriend anyway._

_She’s got a boyfriend anyway._

The lyrics hit Izzie like a punch to the gut. She ripped her arms from around Casey and ran.

She was glad the music was so loud and that she couldn’t hear Casey’s shouts. She shoved through all of the people around her until she was outside.

Izzie let the sobs overtake her as she fell to the floor.

How could she let herself fall for her best friend? Her best friend who had a boyfriend? How could she let her guard down so much? How could she let herself dance with her like that? In public? What if somebody from school was there and saw? What happened to protecting herself?

Her thoughts were interrupted by screams of her name.

IZZIE?

IZZIE?

IZZIE!

Casey asked her what was wrong. ‘Are you okay? Izzie, you’re scaring me. Why did you run out on me? Why did you leave me?’

‘I had to Newton, it’s for your own good.’

Casey ran her hands through her hair in confusion, ‘Izzie, what the hell are you talking about? I thought we were having a good time!’

Izzie thought about her next words. She could admit everything. She could finally tell her how she felt, and everything she’s been hiding. On the other hand, she could also smash her phone and run away to Europe. But suddenly, a wave of courage crashed into Izzie. It was as though everything she had been dying to say out loud since the age of 12 had finally been released.

She jumped up from the floor, turned to look at Casey and it all fell out.

‘Okay, you want to know the truth? I’m gay. I like girls. I love girls. I love YOU. But I can’t love you because you’ve got a boyfriend, Casey! But then I never know how you feel about him because you act like you could have feelings for me when we’re alone! What was that? You can’t dance with me like that when you have a boyfriend!’

Izzie stopped as the enormity of what she’d just said washing over her. Casey stared at her and said the words that she’d been waiting so long to hear.

She broke up with Evan. It was last week. It wasn’t fair to him when she had feelings for someone else. She didn’t tell her because she wasn’t sure she felt the same way and she wanted to be absolutely sure before she ruined their friendship.

Before Izzie even knew what was happening or what to feel, Casey surged towards her with a fiery look in her eyes, and their lips met.

Woah.

_Woah._

This was how it was supposed to feel. She had never felt anything like it. Casey’s lips were soft and warm and they aligned with Izzie’s lips as though they were the missing piece of a jigsaw. Her hands were playing with her hair while Izzie snaked her arms around her, pulling them even closer together.

How had she ever lasted without this? Casey was everything she wanted, she had never been so sure of anything in her life. She tasted of Diet Coke and bubblegum lip scrub, and Izzie felt as though she’d never be able to get enough. A thousand lifetimes wouldn’t be enough.

When their lips finally broke apart their bodies were still wrapped in a tight embrace, and Izzie giggled.

Izzie had always known she liked girls.

And as it turned out, she liked kissing them too.


End file.
